Recently I found a message on my voicemail from a company that I pay monthly for a service they provide me. The company, which is located in a different state from me, called LONG DISTANCE to leave me this message:

“Hello Mr. Markham. This is so-and-so from Company ABC. Thank you for your recent payment. There is one problem, however. You seem to have to have inadvertently written the check for an amount that was two cents short of the total amount due. Please contact us at 1-800-xxx-xxxx so we can arrange payment for this shortage.” They also sent me a letter via FIRST CLASS MAIL that said the same thing.

I wasn’t a math or accounting major, but clearly these people weren’t either. Why would you spent at least a buck on a long distance phone call and ask me to call them back TOLL FREE for this? Why would you spend $0.39 on First Class Mail postage — plus the cost of the paper, the envelope, and the printing — to tell me that I owed them two cents? Anyone else see the problem here? Why in the world would they spend several dollars to try and collect two cents, when they could just add it to next month’s bill or even simpler — write it off. Come on! We’re talking two cents here! Why are they so wound up about two cents? Are they that short on cash flow?

My wife had a good idea for the response. Rather than write them a check for two cents, we taped two pennies to the letter and mailed it to them.

Good grief!

-Pete